Donkey Boners & Other Debauchery

Monday, August 30, 2004

Roofies and Pukies

As usual, this weekend was filled with detrimental times to my body. I went from zero to supa-eff'ed in about 3 minutes. As my good friend Bob Monette(that's ME!) would say "I got TIP SIE ACED". Somehow all the shots,beer,licka,and insane dancing (which included ripping my shirt off) caused me to ralph all over TT's car door. So durst on my parts. Howevs, Saturday night was a hell of a time -- 70's stizz at the Tea Room. Shout out to Kim 'K-bob' Yerby - bobvs all over your birthday tees.

Hey Mom - I won Gold!!! (and didn't even get g-dubs!!!) According to
Esspen, Durex donated 130,000 condoms and 30,000 tubes of 'lubricant'. Congrats to all the athletes who scored both on and off the field. I know if I were there (or b-marsh) I would be knocking on Courtney Kupet's or Carly Patterson's door. schmobvs all over those gymnast tees. It is GOOD to see these games are finally over, 16 days of unproductive behavior needed to cease.

In yet another poor move on his part, The Fez(deutsch bag) gives
Lohan(goddess) a promise ring - Samford stizz. Who seriously does this anymore? no buzz.

VMA's? More like VMGAY's. Scottland and I forced ourselves to watch, but continually found ourselves switching channels begging to find something MORE entertaining than that crap. Once again, another un-delightful MTV production. Are we supposed to get excited about P-diddy and Urrrrsher fighting over who rented the biggest yacht? I will say that I chuckled when I saw the drummer for Jet - so best. Polyphonic spree - so wurst - duhvs.

If I were a betting man - and I am - I would bet that Jay-Z isn't 'retired'. I think he is going to pull an MJ and come back, like 6 times.

Someone seriously wrote a book about metrosexuality? If anyone buys this book you have too much disposable income, and our friendship is terminated - fobvs.

Also - if you waste $59.98 to buy the Apprentice - the complete first season, you are √úbergay. The fact that someone rated it 5 stars is totally mind-boggling. These people should be saving their money and spending it on something useful. For rilz.

You guys are the tits and you know it....


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