Donkey Boners & Other Debauchery

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Chivas Christ!

This is the Chivas Life! Last night was a hell of a time, one of the best I have had since last week. Chivas was opened and Chivas was consumed. Scotch tastings are the tits. Thanks to all who went -- Scottland, Casual Quail Hunter, K-Bob, Erin, GoogleCV, T2. I looooooooooooooooove Scoooooooootch!

Last night started out with some choice adult cocktails : Chivas on rocks, Chivas & Ginger, and Chivas Apple Martini's. Just when we thought our luck couldn't get any better we were led into a ballroom where each of us was seated with 5 shots of scotch in front of us. Our host was a drunk Scottish bagpipe player who has made his living the last 18 years by drinking whiskey. Could be the best profession evs. He was very entertaining and enlightened us about the process of making scotch. It was tigs. Chivas Regal 18 year - fuuuuuuuuueeeeee.

As parting gifts they gave each one of us a bottle of 12 yr Chivas Regal. These people know how to throw a party.

After departing - we drove a block to
The Idle Rich on McKinney Ave. Any bar that serves Hoegaarden is good in Scottland's book. Debauchery ensued.

Tonight mark's the opening night of
Aggie Football - or the start of another losing season. Hey I like A&M just as much as the next guy, but I just don't have faith in our program. Solution? Bring back Bear Bryant from the grave - than we might have a chance, Junction Boys stizz. Howevs, my friends have insisted that Reggie is much more mature this year, whatever that means. If anyone is in Dallas - we will be at the Knox Street Bar - enjoying $2 MillerLites all night long.

"Just because you fuck a felon, it doesn't make you a felon" - Scottland Dub after 5 glasses of Scotch. I have no further explanation at this time.

So Kobe got off. I actually feel sorry for the dude. I mean he went through a lot of shit this past year with the press, fans, and his family (which he probably deserved). As predicted last July - the 'accuser' was after him for fame and money - that is the only logical explanation. Hopefully all the bad vibe towards Kobe will wear off and people will realize that the kid can shoot.

"Is there any tits in this movie" - Jamieson Ryan, prior to watching The Passion.

Apparently the best way to get over Brit-Brit is to make out with a tranny for hours on end. That's right - Brit's ex-beau was spotting making out with a tranny at a nightclub. Not exactly his finest moment(s). If I ever get that wasted where I even talk to a tranny -- someone beat the shit out of me. so obvs.

Drinking urine is the new eating an apple. Say good-bye to sinus trouble, grey hair, and cancer. So sicks.

Don't hurt yourself tonight - it is only Thursday and it is going to be a looooong weekend.


  • I just had to say hello! that post had me in fits of laughter! you are too funny!


    By Blogger Leigh, at 4:28 PM  

  • Glad you liked it! Please continue to read and post!

    By Blogger JagerMonster, at 12:18 PM  

  • "Chivas on rocks, Chivas & Ginger, and Chivas Apple Martini's.."

    "..each of us was seated with 5 shots of scotch in front of us.."

    "After departing - we drove a block to The Idle Rich on McKinney Ave.."

    --So you had 3 strong mix drinks, and 5 shots of scotch, then DROVE.

    You aggies never cease to amaze me, with your drunkin "debauchery" and good ol' fashion aggie bon fires... burn baby burn.

    Darwinism in action.

    By the way, you're drinking what they're selling.

    By Anonymous thecollector, at 10:28 AM  

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