Donkey Boners & Other Debauchery

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Her Undercarriage Was Showing!

Wow. As predicted this weekend was totally AWESOME. Hurricane Chuck (aka Charlie Murphy) blew through town and damn - it did some destruction (i.e. my liver). Within 30 minutes of arriving C-Murph and myself were enjoying free cocktails on the dental school students tab at Manhattan Bar.

After several tasty bevy's and some good chatter(about tee's and debauchery) we decided to a 'last day at work' happy hour for a p2 friend. C-Murph quickly became a PBS - personal body shield - as we decided last minute to bail. We made our way to The Corner Bar for some delicious $2 dos equis (Double X, natch!) and some piss poor service. Not to mention the fact that they were showing the Sox/Yanks game on the big screen instead of the Rangers/Mariner's - durst move on their part. This was the first time during the night that I realized we were in trouble. Anytime a friend suggests that they are going to 'drink their dinner' - beware!

From Corner Bar we headed to the Loon - and became Loonatics - to celebrate Kelly Cheeseburger's b-day. Bfobvs all over your b-day tees, gfriend. Instantly we ordered our first coffee mug full of Jager - where Charlie had to take a quick Time-out and swallow 50 times to make sure it wasn't going to come back up. It was awesome to see everybody out -- and thanks to all the kind words people said about the blog. We got fans - biaaatch. The time-bomb named Charlie exploded after some 4-finger vodkee's and another shot o' Jager. At this point in the night - alcohol was being abused. The funniest moment of the night was when Charlie went to use the bathroom and stood at the door waiting to go in. I came over 5 minutes later and he was still standing outside. "Who the eff is taking a shit at the Loon, man" was slurred by Charlie, and I decided to make sure someone was in the bathroom -- I turned the knob and to Charlie's surprise - nobody was in the bathroom. Instantly classic - schmears. Warning! Do not send text messages while at the bar that read 'I need sauce'.

We caught a ride home for Mr. p2 himself - and ended up calling for a cab to take us to TWhataburger - worst idea evs. Matty V decided to enjoy a beer in the cab - so ridic's. Charlie leans over to me and says "I am trying so hard not to throw up right now - and am losing the battle". Jeez. We finally return to Kim's to enjoy our late night delicacies - eff'ing PEC taquito's yo! Charlie finishes eating and than goes and lays on the toliet to empty his stomach - so best.

SaturDAZE - The day was filled with dry heaves and tennis - not at the same time, of course. I was supposed to help my brother move a armoir and instead just got in the way as I sweated out the Jager I had consumed the night before. Miserable.

I ended up having a very busy night - consisting of 3 parties to attend as well as having dinner with Big Bob. We decided to have dinner at Truluck's where I bobvs'd all over some salmon and salad. fuuuuueeee. So delicious.
Afterward,I saw the most ridiculous thing evs. See below.

Give me an eff'in break!

I have no explanation for what would cause someone to want to have that. Straight up the most fucking asinine thing I have ever seen.

After dinner I stopped by C.K.'s party for some quality patio time and some ice cold Miller Lites. I then headed off with Scottland to meet up with Charlie Murphy at Knox Street Pub - for a donkeyboner and debauchery.

The infamous Donkey Boner

A donkeyboner - Revealed! A donkeyboner is hands down the wurst shot that was ever invented. It works like this - you get a group of guys (girls stay out of this!) and each person calls a different licka. Our donkeyboner consisted of Jager - 151 - and peppermint schnaaps. Not as bad as I originally thought - but definatly not good. Things started getting hazzy after this point in time - but we did have several discussions about improvements for the site (boner of the month) and wurst boob job of the week - stay tuned!

Diiirt off my shoulder

We got crunk with Jay during "dirt off my shoulder". DJ Mike was cracking my shit up with his air turntable abitilites - robvs.

DJ Mike getting crunk

Quote of the night was Scottland Dub - "Tonight is not about Donkey Boners - it is about other Debauchery". And he was correct, kinda. I can't describe what happened afterwards b/c apparently I left abruptly and told people I stole a bottle of licka - which did not happen. Anyways - I was hurting this morning when I ralphed at 12:30 - straight up 151 - uggggh. The bottom line - weekend was total tits. Thanks for all the good times - and high fives.

Now - for some quick PHC.

Hey Taco C. - hire some people who at least speak English at the drive-thru, or you will continue to lose my business!

Has anyone seen that Drew Barrymore documentary on MTV where she travels around and tries to convince people to vote? Don't waste you time - it blows. While I am on the rant - I think MTV is trying way to hard these days to send political messages. For example - the Bush sisters and Kerry sisters at the Music Awards - wurst idea evs. MTV - the majority of your viewers are to young to vote!

Wurst attempt to get media attention evs! Your life is basically over sweetheart.

I give you the best weather research on the web, hands down. Go ahead and bookmark it.

Singh me a song - talk about a hell of a year. This guy is looking like Tigre' did in the late 90's.

Say whaaaat?

And finally - you can bet your ass I will have front row tickets for this hottness. bobvs.

You guys are beautiful - keep reading - and stay bobvs.


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