Dishevelment

"I woke up confused" - quote of the week, hands down.

I appologize for the lack of posts in the past week - and by lack of posts, I really mean 0. I have been busy at work amongst other things - schmears. The week in review - list stizz.

9:15pm departure from Dallas to College Station (aka Federline City)

6 shots/4 beers upon arrival - $24

While passing out watching Mean Girls - I overheard "sooo I was hanging out with this guy for an hour and a half - than he ditched me for someone thinner" - hilarity ensued.

"I need Hair Products"

Some of my friends are married - no names dropped.

"I think she is hott" - "What are you talking about - she looks like a Cabbage Patch Kid"

Jager for lunch

"He's the eff'ing Jesus Christ of blogs"

"I hope I throw up tonight" - chanted at 1:10pm

"That's definately sans panties"

"You remember that time you threw up and than took a shot to keep your buzz?"

Turning into Doc Holiday at 1:10am at Corner Bar - pale, sweating profusely, sipping water

"Why can't we hang out more often?" - "because I use more hair products than you"

"Jamie - don't pull over for gas yet, I have to finish this cigarette"

"Don't put more than $5 in gas, I need to drink tonight" - than after putting $10 in gas, "come on, that was a full jager-bomb you wasted"

"I'm going to Fitzwilly's to sober up"

I am going to bake you in my dutch oven tonight.

NY Subs now serves liverwurst around 12:30am

Michael Jackson in College Station - wurst and best moment evs.

"My neck herpes are flaring up - it is embarrassing"

13 missed calls the next morning.

Sandy Jamison & Nancy Drew

Buzzzzzzzz: Real Quick

Sad - yet probably true!

Elin Nordegren definately worth $1.5 million. Dripping with hottness....

Tip: Don't do ciggaweed when you have to take a drug test - otherwise you will drop $160 on a tacklebox of products such as "weed shampoo" and "pills" (via ___________)

Gonna be a huge weekend kids. Texas/OU - Happy Hours - and of course tee's to be bfobvs'd upon.

I am one passing CPA score away from this!

Don't even ask where I am - to much jelly.

-Stay bobvs.