Donkey Boners & Other Debauchery

Thursday, September 02, 2004

"By the beard of Zeus!"

Do you smell that? A smokey green haze strong enough to choke Tommy Chong is about to occupy Zilker Park in Austin 15 days from now. The epic Austin City Limits Festival, embraced by gentle credit card hippies everywhere, has Charlie Murphy's lacrimal glands wetting themselves like a 30 year old woman on Zestra. Medeski Martin & Wood, G-Love, Trey Anastasio, Drive By Truckers, Gomez, Bob Schneider (BEST), Jack Johnson, Elvis Costello, The Roots, Toots (reggae original), My Morning Jacket, Old 97's, MOFRO (met them...straight from Bonnaroo), Monte Montgomery have my personal approval of hottness. Check them out.

Note to dumbass store clerk: There is no such thing as a $200 bill. Nor is there any type of currency with G-Dub's face on it. Honestly...people never cease to amaze me. (see above pic)

Holy Zell!
Senator Miller's speech last This Republican National Convention is heating up man. G-dub to deliver the keynote speech tonight, rodeo stizz. He specifically requested no podiums, and a "bull-pen" style circle in the middle of MSG. Unprecedented...let's see how it works.

Did you honestly think Kobe even had a chance of serving time in Colorado? Come should know by now...professional athletes are above the law. (i'm not saying he didn't do it, i'm just saying i never doubted his innocence).

China, seriously, don't let the communist regime
keep you from getting yours! (albeit by yourself). The porn crackdown - led by Information Minister WANG XuDONG. Irony? Es possible!

Fat Lip - What's up Fat Lip? download it.

Dude, Florida can't seem to catch a break these days. Hurricane Frances (that BITCH!) is headed for the east coast, legs spread as wide as Texas. Batten down the hatches and stay safe out there.

Skunk Stripe called me again last night. She was all "I want to come over tonight" and I was all "Listen...shit that happens at the lake, stays at the lake". Donkeyboatshoes knows what I'm talkin' bout.

Geez...effing lame-o day. I reckon I'll start packing for this weekend. Headed to Austin for a little culture. Disc golf, mountainbiking, wakeboarding (hyperlite stizz), and 6th street beckon my call. Floating the Guadeloupe (or Guad-a-poop) river on Sunday. And by floating I mean passing out in my tube via Jager IV drip. Aquasocks are still cool, right?

Let's hope Coach Fran can bring one home for the Ags tonight (or at least score enough to cover the 9.5 point spread for daddy!)

I'll leave you with this Brit-Brit sideboobage (oh fuuuuuuhhhhhh) to make up for the total lack of buzz today.


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