Donkey Boners & Other Debauchery

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Schmears

My name is Charlie Murphy, and I approve this message.


G-MMMMMBEST!

Okay...if you haven't heard of Gmail, then toss that Commodore 64 out the window and get with the times. Like a nasty global pandemic of the G-Dubs (the STD), 1986, YO!the Gmail juggernaut has spread to the far reaches of the country (thanks in most part to GoogleCV). I have never been so happy with an email provider (FREE no less). I love the ability to search to find the exact message you want, no matter when it was sent or received. 1000 megabytes (serious porn capacity) of free storage. Each message is grouped with all its replies and displayed as a conversation. No pop-up ads. No untargeted banners. BOVS ON THEM TEES. Best part about it...it's still in beta quasi-underground country club phase ...which means to be a member, you must be invited by another member (um...Bob Connely...I was just trying to get some Tee Time - Spoonie Luv). If you're cool enough, maybe Charlie Murphy has one of his invites left with your name on it.

So I've been totally obsessed with this band Athlete. New cd (Vehicles and Animals) is featured in my hottness on the sidebar. Click on the link and purchase immediately. You won't be disappointed.

Recent reads of the current state in Russia can't help but leave me with visions of the old hammer and sickle. Is is just me, or have the outlandish statements and acts by current president Vladimir Putin seem to be leaning towards the days of the Red Machine? I'll keep an eye out...

Heads up Gulf Coast (and my parents, who currently reside in the Crescent City!), Ivan seems determined to tear some shit up. What a crazy year for weather. 3 category 4 or greater hurricanes in less than 2 months...seriously...is the apocalypse upon us or something? If Ivan strikes the heart of New Orleans, Jackson Square could end up looking something like this!


So Cubs

Have you ever wondered what it is like to be a Cubs fan? Want to practice? Watch the Rangers. A diehard fan since my conception (do the names Scott Fletcher, Oddibe McDowell, Pete O'brien and Icaviglia, Charlie Hough, Geno Petralli, Steve Beuchelle, Don Slaught mean anything to you??), I think I have slowly developed a condition over the years. Year after year...same story. Typically in contention for the first 3/4 of the season (thanks year in and year out to a stellar offense), the Rangers always fall as the last month or two of baseball come to a close. Old SchoolAlthough I can't really complain this year thanks to a complete 180 from last season, I can't help but feel the pain of Chicago and Boston fans. Did anyone happen to catch the game last night (probably not). I was just about to finish the last of my volumes of readings when I looked up to see the camera zooming in on a woman resembling Massive Head Wound Harry (Dana Carvey stizz). Rangers pitcher Frank Francisco, apparently having enough of the taunting, hurled a chair hammer-throw style at the first row of patrons, hitting 3 of them. Totally Unexcusable. As a professional athlete, you are expected to be able to hold your cool and act like a professional. You know going into this profession that there will be taunting, heckling, cell phone throwing, etc. Never should retaliation cross the mind, save for a breach in your own personal safety. I say give the jackass a lenghty suspension accompanied by a hefty fine. The dude will no doubt be sued as well. no buzz.

Speaking of Dallas sports, if you love sports talk radio, become a P-1 and check out The Hardline on KTCK The Ticket. I listen to the show every afternoon online. So Best!!! Snake!!

Somewhat excited about a couple of upcoming movies. First on the list...I Heart Huckabees. I love quirky little indie movies, and based on the buzz, this one seems to hold a lot of promise (Schwartzman...so tigs).

Also somewhat aroused (no pun intended) about the upcoming Dukes of Hazzard. Not only is Boobie McGee (bovs on those sweater monkeys) officially cast as the ass-splitting JORTS sponsor, but Jay Chandrashekar of Supertroopers (tits) and Club Dread fame is writing and directing the remake. Word has it that he's trying to cast Burt Reynolds as Boss Hogg. No word yet as to who will play Cooder! (not you, skunk stripe!)

Nothing makes The Murph happier than when a young, beautiful female actress decides to shed her bubble-gum kiddie teen movie image by playing peek-a-boobie in a more serious, artsy movie (fobvs). In the upcoming movie Havoc, Anne Hathaway of Princess Diaries fame will supposedly be showing off her assets opposite Bijou Phillips. Hathway had recently said, "I wish people wouldn't sensationalise seven seconds of a two-hour performance." Seriously...those people are like...so immature.

And Adam Brody (from the OC) has taken his ideas for a new Revenge of the Nerds to director McG (come on dude...use your real name). Plot line...the AlphaBetas tease the dorks, a competition ensues, Nerds rule the school. Sprinkle in a couple of tatties here and there and you've got yourselves a true ROTN installment. (and possibly a cameo by Booger)

Alright bitches...The Murph is off to the lap pool, Michael Phelps stizz. May bovs drip steadily down your own respective tees this afternoon. NATCH!

Skater Crash clip (OUCH!)

5 Comments:

  • As a convicted paedophile, the tracking technology inherent in gmail scares me.

    By Blogger Mister Underhill, at 2:00 PM  

  • who in the 12 yr-old's bogeen said you could post something like that?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:37 PM  

  • Jagermonster and I have conferred...we really don't know how to respond to that comment.

    By Blogger charlie murphy, at 2:39 PM  

  • Oddibe McDowell resets ... first one since 1990? BRILLS!

    By Blogger Uncle Grambo, at 4:58 PM  

  • Check it, I've got about 300 Gmail invites. E-mail at youcantmakeitup@gmail.com if you want one.

    By Blogger Michelle Collins, at 7:12 PM  

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