Donkey Boners & Other Debauchery

Saturday, August 28, 2004


that's right...charlie murphy is plugged in, and everyone is invited (not you, skunk stripe!). big boy and i are delivering only the hottest to your pc, dominos stizz. i'll be tossing up input whenever i find the time...which, let's be honest, is almost every day. thanks college station.

my new roommate and i just went to goodwill in the station. i was dressed in polo shorts, a polo shirt, smiths tortoise-shell sunglasses (best), and birkenstocks. i felt real uncomfortable flying through the dress shirts looking for pearl snaps, right next to an older man who was shopping for a business suit. sidenote: i think i am going to purchase a leisure suit to lounge around the house in.

usa basketball...what a rimjob of a series. whoever is in charge of their operations has some serious homework to do. did you see the way argentina destroyed our b and c list players? horrible. hey, douchebags, how about fielding a couple of players who can shoot from the perimeter. for one time in my life i felt bad for allen iverson. and it lasted like 3 seconds. and except for larry brown, did anyone happen to see a white person on our sidelines? probably because every honky in the nba is eurotrash (or a canuck, ehh steve?).

i am a music snob. that said, here is a short list of hott bands i am listening to right now. download at your own risk. to be updated prn (that's medical shorthand for "as needed", biatch).
-The Shins (obvs)
-The Long Winters (so best)
-The Secret Machines (kind of pink floyd-meets-velvet underground)
-Helio Sequence
-Iron & Wine
-Frou Frou (garden state)

bands to stay away from:
-polyphonic spree...seriously...don't jump on the bandwagon
-franz ferdinand

i'm sure i can think of many more...but i'm moving on.

i have started to notice that my beer gut is starting to peek over the top of my jeans. consequently, i am headed to beautiful lake bryan today to mountainbike my extra layer of orca fat off. seriously.

after dinner last night i drank a whole bottle of red by myself on our porch. effing relaxing. i rigged up some old shitty car speakers and mounted them on our fence right next to our little patio table. gypsy kings, a bottle of yellowtail shiraz-cabernet (cheap, yes, but good), and a couple of camel evening in weeks...barring last weekend at paradise.

okay...albeit short...that's all i have for now. saturday posts will be rare...but i had to get this ball rolling. catch me next time, when this crockpot of hottness is bubbling over with goodies. hopefully by then i will have had time to read up on linking and posting pics, because the murph knows you need to feed the monkey.

i leave you with this....

Friday, August 27, 2004

Coffee Cups Full of Jäger

Last night started out as quiet, and by quiet I mean shots. Let me give you some advice - don't let your wasted friends talk you into going to the bar after they have been boozing for hours on end. Next thing you know I got talked into going to the infamous Loon, which apparently only pours triples for shots. Jäger was consumed - debauchery ensued.

We have only had our new apartment for just over a week and we already have 2 noise violations. To help combat this problem we have issued a rule that states you must take a breathalyzer test to enter our apartment after the hours of midnight. That rule was violated last night by Andrew "Paul Hamm" Jamison. Bastid. I don't want to get into finger-pointing, but we expect our 3rd noise violation shortly.

This weekend could be huge - If in Dallas lets make it happen. Keep being beautiful..bobvs.

I leave you with a quote from 'The Venis' - "Bowel movements won't go down." Who says that shit, schmears...

Thursday, August 26, 2004

A new day - A new beginning

Dudes - what is really going on here? That is the question that gets asked alot when I am around. To answer it, finally, I will say this is the craziest/dumbest/most ridiculous thing I could possibly be doing. After talking about blogs with my friends for months, Charlie Murphy and myself have decided that we can bring you some of the best Piping Hot Content (via the internet has to offer. We promise to bring you more NSFW posts than any other blog.

Can everyone please pray/cross their fingers for me. If we get lucky (which I am hoping for) -- we might have the hottest, most bestest neighbor evs. MBD kids. If you are thinking Road Rules you are on the right track, if you are thinking The Tap you are on the right track, if you are thinking fake tees you are on the right track. Scottland Dub has promised to 'bobvs all over the plastic' once they get settled.

For now it is time for some PT. The daddies are going to be floating on the rafts, drinks in hands, with good times to be had.

Must have back - fobvs.

I leave you with the bestest sideboobage evs....